New Beginnings

Hi guys,
I know I have been away for a bit. I have honestly had so much going on in my life that I haven't been able to see straight. Now that things have kind of slowed down a bit, I have decided to get back to the hobbies I enjoy. I know you are probably thinking why am I sitting here writing to you if I am trying to enjoy taking on my hobbies again. Well you see, writing this blog is one of my hobbies. It is one that I threw to the way side when things got tough. When all in all, I should have taken the time to write more. It would have helped me through some dark times.

I have started this new lifestyle change and I would really love if you guys would be apart of it with me. Some may call it a diet. Some may call it a fad. It is neither. It is a lifestyle change. I am facing my fitness, my mental and my personal life head on. I am taking the reins back and not cruising on autopilot any more. I am also working on not letting others effect me the way I have let them. I have given too many people full reins of my emotions and allowing them to control how I feel. It wasn't fair to me and it wasn't fair to my family either. For so long I have eternalized others actions, words, and situations and put myself down for it. It was like I was ALWAYS carrying this huge rock on my shoulders and all anyone wanted to do was add more on. I became exhausted with the day to day struggle. I wasn't being the best me I could be. So after some serious soul searching and some recent events that slapped me back into focus, and I mean a literal slap, I am taking back me.

Not the me that I have ever been either. See, I was the kids who would always befriend the ones no one wanted to be friends with. I was the one that got bullied because no one liked me. I was shy, defensive, and to be honest, I was letting my home life effect my social and academics.  I let the situations I was facing at home keep me from being happy. Don't get me wrong, I use to be happy back when I was in like first or second grade and a little before. After then, life in all accounts was literal hell.  Every time I would start being happy, I would sabotage it. I thought I wasn't meant to be happy. That if I was, I was a bad person. That is the kind of mindset I am trying to get myself out of. I deserve to be happy and loved. Heaven knows I haven't even loved myself much either.

That's where I am taking my life in a new direction. I will no longer be the "I'm Sorry Girl" when things that are out of my control happens. I'm not sorry because I have no reason that I should be. I am going to start standing up for myself. It is too exhausting being a doormat that people can walk all over. I deserve better. I deserve more! So I am going to start being a little more selfish. I am going to take a little bit of that happiness I know I deserve. I am going to look in the mirror and be like "hey beautiful, it's a new day!" or "Hay beautiful, I know things are hard now but keep your head up and keep trudging. This wont last forever." Goodbye self-hate monster. Your services are no longer welcome here. Hello to New Beginnings and the adventures that are yet to come!


Above all, don't forget to #SweatPink