You're Beautiful, It's true!

Monday, February 17, 2014

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. What does that even mean? Well I am going to take a few moments to discuss this with you. Does it mean that to be beautiful you have to be a size 2 runway model that you see on the runway during fashion week or Victoria Secrets? NO! That is not what true beauty is. I am sorry, when you put a Victoria Secrets next to a fitness model, to me the fitness model wins hands down. Not because of her looks, but how she cares for herself. Most models on the runway during fashion week and such starve themselves to be thin for that “perfect look”. While 90% of fitness models have learned a little secret that has not only made them successful but has made them a much happier person. The secret is, they have learned to love their self and all of their flaws. No they don’t brush their flaws under the rug, they just wake up and tell themselves “I know I don’t like this about my body but I am still beautiful”. These wonderful ladies don’t say this because others are telling them this, they are saying it because they know beauty doesn't come from the outside, it comes from within.

Everyone has their own insecurities and inner demons. There is not a person alive that is immune to this.  If they say they are, they are only lying to themselves.  Yes, some women have learned to live with their insecurities and have chosen to not listen to them but they still have to wake up and make that choice to do so.  Everyone at one point or another has fallen victim to this horrible self-hate male and female alike.  When you go the gym or the store and you feel like everyone is looking at your “flaws” and that is all they see. Well sweetie that is your insecurities and self-hate talking there. Then you end up feeling depressed or angry and you just want to hurry up and get out of their as quick as you can.  Often times you find yourself making bad choices you regret in the long run because your mind is playing tricks on you. You are not alone in this. Trust me I have to give myself pep talks like this daily. When it gets too bad that even my pep talks don’t work, I have found a good friend and mentor I run too for help. I have noticed less often now I have had to run to her for help because I have started to incorporate this advice into my everyday activities. Like when I first wake up, the first thing I do is say something positive about myself.  Even if it is just something as simple as saying “good morning, you made it. Yesterday is gone and it is a brand new day. Anything can happen”

Accepting your flaws is the first step you can do to become the beautiful person you know you are. I know this seems a bit confusing but I will explain this more. Once you accept your flaws and accept that they are a part of you, you can start to love the beauty in yourself. This in turn makes you more confident and that my friend is a big part of being beautiful.  For example, I hate the way my body looks. I stand in front of the mirror for hours criticizing myself because my stomach is too big, my butt looks like it got caught in a hail storm and lost. My teeth are crooked and my gums are ugly. Then I start looking down when I walk around hopping others don’t see all of these flaws like I do. After years of doing this, I finally decided one day to look up and just for one day keep my shoulders back, head high and smile. It took that one day and that one day alone to change my perspective about me. I actually had people who I thought where gawking at me tell me I was pretty. I was even told that they never noticed my eyes before and that because I was standing taller I looked thinner. Could this be true? Could I really have something about me that is pretty? You can bet your bottom dollar I do. I have even been complimented on my calves. Which I honestly thought they were bulbous and ugly yet everyone says they are well defined and muscular.

Uniqueness is what set you apart from everyone else.  You are the only one that looks exactly like you. Even identical twins have their own flaws because they do not live the exact same way, eat the exact same food and do everything the exact way. Uniqueness has its own hidden beauties that are just waiting to reveal themselves. Maybe it is that hat that everyone laughs at you for wearing but as soon as you put it on, you feel like a million dollars. Maybe it is even those jeans you got from a second hand thrift shop that you l couldn't wait to get home and put them on because they were that cute. It may even be that picture that your child drew of you that says “I Luv UOU MOMMY” – yes I spelled that wrong because that is how I got my first I love you note from my daughter- that makes you cry because you sat there for so long thinking you were a horrible parent because you made a few mistakes. Well guess what, we all have those little things that bring a sparkle to our eye. Even if you think no one is watching, people notice something has changed about you. Whether it is a sparkle in your eye, pep in your step, or even a bigger smile. The little things that you may not catch yet others do. That is where beauty comes from. It comes from a place that you can’t find in an anatomy book or on a runway or even in the gym. It comes from deep inside of you and allows you to blossom into the beauty that you are meant to be.  It took me a long time to figure this out. Years upon years of being broken down by my family and my husband finally took its toll and broke me. It took me hearing that is something didn't change I would no longer be able to be here to protect my babies, to get me off my behind and determined to find the beauty in me.  

Take the time you need to learn to take care of you. I don’t mean this as you have let yourself go and haven’t taken a shower in a week. I am saying take the time to battle that inner voice and let it know you are beautiful and you will no longer let yourself be tormented by the ugliness it brings. You only have this one life and only you can live it in beauty. Only you can live life to its fullest and experience all it has to offer. Don’t let someone’s harsh words cut you like a knife and bring you down. Don’t give others that power over you. Take yourself on a date night. Oh yes, you heard me right. Take yourself on a date and do something that makes you happy. Weather it is sliding into that sexy dress and going to dinner and a movie, or crawling into those favorite pair of comfortable sweat pants on the couch to a good book or movie. Make it all about you and what makes you happy. You will end up feeling much better I promise you. If you are worried about your weight and that is your biggest insecurity, chose to do something healthy. For example, walk around the block, instead of that tub of ice cream covered in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, get you some frozen fruit and stick it in the blender with some water and yogurt and make you a killer smoothie and pop up some popcorn on the stove. It is all about you, do what you want to with it.

You are the one that has to live in your own body. No one else can or has the right to say what you can and can’t do when it comes to your body. Just like no one else has the right to make you feel bad about yourself. Don’t give them that power over you. They are fighting their own insecurities and are trying to hide them by making you feel bad about your own.  You know yourself better than they will ever even get a chance to know.  If you feel no one loves you, learn to love yourself. After all, you are what is the most important. Once you learn to love yourself you will start to see how beautiful you really are.  Haters only do so because they are jealous of how beautiful you are and they feel that is they put you down it will make them a better person.  They don’t understand that by them doing that, it only makes their insecurities and inner demons show even more.  Kindness in turn is the truest form of beauty. It is the most pure and respectable quality that anyone could ever possess.  It is what makes you stand out in a crowd and makes you the kind of person others want to be around. No one wants to be around someone who always hates on people. It makes them wonder what you are saying behind their back when they are not around.  For the longest I thought that nice people always finished last. I mean even my closest friends only wanted something to do with me when they wanted something or needed something. They were hardly ever their when I needed them and only one was their when I was at rock bottom. My best friend who I claim as my sister Jill was the only one who was their- not physically but on the phone- when I was about to give up.  She called me daily to give me little pep talks and to tell me how beautiful I was and how I was the luckiest woman alive because I had 3 beautiful children who love me dearly. Knowing that they are my world and I would give everything for them.  If anyone where to ask me today who I felt was the most beautiful person in the world other than my kids, I would say my sister Jill hands down. To me, she is the most beautiful person I have ever met and ever will meet. Followed close by Joanna Broadbent from Sports bras and sippy cups, Laura ‘Farman’ Williams founder of Girls Gone Sporty, and my trainer May Kusiak. All of these women have made a huge impact in my life and to be honest, I can’t ever thank them enough for all they have done. These women are by far the most beautiful women I know. Think about this next time you feel like you are unworthy and ugly.

Comment below who you have been inspired by and who you think is absolutely beautiful in your eyes. What are some other tips and advice would you give to those that feel like they are less beautiful than others?

I really hope you enjoyed my first post of the all about you week. Stay tuned in for more all about you posts this week with a few awesome surprises to help pamper yourself with! Sleep well, eat right, and don’t forget to sweat pink!


Amusingly Quirky Gal said...

Great post with sound advice. Love this one the most: Take the time you need to learn to take care of you. We often forget to do that with our busy little lives.

Caroline Thomas said...

I think the most beautiful person to me is someone that is willing to be the best they is not perfect and we are all here under certain circumstances.

Roxie-Girl said...

AWESOME POST GIRL!!! I agree with the positive self talk first thing in the morning, it's a must, and changes your entire day of what could've been.

Anonymous said...

Great post. Being beautiful is feeling beautiful. And thats an inner place that you have to learn to get to - I think you captured it.

Aph Mordly said...

Thank you all for your kind words. I wrote this from my heart because I struggle daily with this issue myself and I know many other women who do as well. I even know a lady who has an identical twin who even agrees that her and her sister have different insecurities and different flaws. We all have them and once we all start looking at the positive side of it and viewing our battle scares as they are, reminders of the struggles we have faced and are their to help keep us from making the same mistakes again, then we will all see the true beauty in us all.

David @ Captain Speedypants said...

I totally agree. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Great post!

Patti Tucker said...

Joy from within = beauty.

Melissa Swedoski said...

Watched this video over the weekend and just loved it. I hope that other women are as lucky as I am and have a great husband who lets me know I'm beautiful, even when I can't believe it myself!

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