I got a Pocket of Sunshine!

Friday, October 18, 2013

What a weekend it has been. To add to it all, the weekend is nowhere near over. Honestly, it hasn't been a good one. The bad part is, it seems to be one let down after another. Like I can't get out of this rut I am in and get a break. Even if it is just a little one, it would be a blessing. I know we all have been in these ruts before and we all will overcome them. Rather it is because you are doing everything you possibly can to lose weight and the scale and tape measure are seeming to be locked on 1 number.  Or you are hoping for a certain promotion or opportunity that always seems to pass you by. We all have been their and honestly, at times, it feels like we are always stuck in that one rut. When we finally get that little bit of an up and start moving again, we fall back down into a deeper rut that is worse than the one before. I honestly have been their. Lots of times, it feels like I am joining you in the exact same spot. I get discouraged because I try my hardest to lose weight and the numbers never seem to change much. That and a lot of stress that has been added to my life lately. To be honest, it really makes me feel like the light in the end of the tunnel doesn't want to be gotten. Like it is running away from me to make sure I never get to my dream or where I want to be.

When I get into this rut and feel that I have nowhere else to go but to give up and take what hell has been given to me till it eats me away, I sit back and take a deep breath and say the following from a song I have fallen in love with just because of the lyrics that follow.

I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine
I got a love and I know that it's all mine, oh, oh
Do what you want, but you're never gonna break me
Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me, oh, oh
I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine
I got a love and I know that its all mine, oh, oh
Wish that you could, but you ain't gonna own me
Do anything you want, you can't slow me down, oh no

 The reason for the kids version is this is the one my children sing :)

This reminds me that no matter how hard and unfair life gets, their is always a little "Pocket of Sunshine" close by waiting to be found. You just have to close your eyes and open your heart to find it. This little "Pocket of Sunshine" you will find, is the love you have for yourself. It is a very hard lesson to learn that in the end, their is no one but you. Now before you get all mad and close this post, please read why I say this.  When I mean that in the end, it is only you who can make you truly happy. Others can assist but if you aren't happy with yourself then you always find yourself back in the same hurtful place as you where before. Please don't get me wrong, I struggle with this all the time. I have had years of being made to feel like I would never amount to much and have always been made to feel bad about myself. As most of my really close friends and readers have learned about me is to this day, I am still made to feel inferior to others. I get this from my In Laws and other family members. I have had dreams and plans that have seem to get put down and shattered at every turn till I have had to come to the reality that in the end, it's only me. I have spent so long believing what others say about me that I have lost myself. Lost what makes me happy and lost sight of what my dreams are. Only recently have I started to figure out that I am not what everyone says I am.

Yes I still fall back into the rut where I feel like I will not amount to much but then I see my children's faces. This is my "Pocket of Sunshine", what makes me happy. Seeing that no matter what anyone says to me or tries to crush who I am inside, their are 3 wonderful souls who love me for me. Not for what I look like or how little I have accomplished in life. They love me for me and they are, by far, my greatest accomplishment. If you don't remember anything else about this blog post, please remember that you are never truly alone. Someone has been in your shoes and walked the same path you have. Maybe not at the same time or place, but their is always someone who has walked those rough miles like you have. Some may have thought to take "the easy way out" while some have walked it and finally found that light at the end of the tunnel and found that courage to lift their head up high. To finally feel that sun on their face and feel the warmth of accomplishment and self love. Once you find that, you will notice things aren't as bad as they seem. You will finally have your own "Pocket of Sunshine"

I was honored and surprised to be nominated for the sunshine award by my very own mentor and friend Joanna Broadbent from Sports Bras and Sippy Cups!   The award is circulated to those bloggers to let them know that their posts brighten your day. I honestly wasn't expecting it and to be honest, I never really thought I could bring a bit of sunshine to someone before. Since I got the nomination, I have noticed more and more people telling me how empowering and inspirational some of my posts are. I am honored to be able to pass on this sunshine award to fellow bloggers.

The Rules:
1.  Include award logo in a post or on your blog (I opted to do both)
2.  Link to the person who nominated you Joanna Broadbent from Sports Bras and Sippy Cups!
3.  Answer 10 questions about yourself that the person who niminated you asks.
4.  Nominate 10 bloggers to receive the award. (make sure to link your nominees to the post and comment on their blogs letting them know you have nominated them)

Joanna's questions for me are:

1. What made you start blogging? Back in January, I was told that I had to change the way I was living or I would end up following in my fathers footsteps. (He had a heart attack at 30 years old) I have 3 beautiful children and I want to be here for as long as I can. 

2. What is one of your favorite kid movies? I am stuck between 2 on this question so I am going to write about both lol. I really like Despicable Me and Brave. Both are really cute and they are just awesome.

3. If you could live in any State, where and why? This for me is another tough question because their are 2 types of places I have always dreamed of. One place is anywhere on ocean front. I have dreamed for the longest to work with marine animals and I have a strong passion for them. The second place is anywhere with a beautiful mountain view that is surrounded by woods. I have had dreams of waking up one morning and making some coffee then wrapping up in a warm blanket and with my blanket and coffee in a wooden porch swing overlooking a snow covered mountain  and watching the forest animals play in the snow. 

4. Do you prefer hot or cold weather? I honestly like them both. I love warm days with a nice breeze blowing and I like cold days wrapped up in a blanket in front of a fire. 

5. What is one of your favorite indulgent treats? Chocolate. I LOVE chocolate. It is one of those treats that is really hard to say no to. Which is part of the reason why I am very excited about doing the Hot Chocolate Race :) I get to run for Chocolate. What better treat is their? 

6. If you get a week’s vacation, all paid, where are you going?  I am going to say... Either Scotland or Ireland. I am Scottish and Bohemian and my husband is Irish so I would love to visit them and get to see where I have come from and my heritage.

7. Who has been your biggest life inspiration? My children are hands down my biggest life inspiration. They are what keep me going when I am ready to give up. 

8. Name one thing that terrifies you. My biggest fear that wakes me up in the middle of the night crying is the thought of something happening to my kids or me to where I can't be their for them. If I am not here to protect them, honestly who will?  They are my world and I will do anything to protect them. 

9.  Do you have any nicknames, if so, what are they? Yes, actually I have 2 nicknames. They are Aphrodite and Stormy. Very long story on how I got these two. It would take hours of reading to even skim the surface of both lol.

10. If you won the lottery and was to donate part of your winnings, who would you choose to donate to? I would have to say that is I won the Lottery, I would donate part of my winnings to the St. Jude's Hospital. I love children and when they are in pain, it hearts my heart real deep. SO I would gladly donate to them to help find cures to stop childhood diseases and Cancers. 

The blog's I nominate are:

My Questions are:
1. What is the most memorable thing you have ever done?
2. What has been one of the hardest things you have experienced in your health/ fitness?
3. If your life where a movie title, what would it be called?
4. If you could have anything for your birthday, what would you ask for?
5. If you were to get a call today from your dream job saying you where hired, where would you be working?
6. If you where to win the Lottery, what would be the first thing you spent it on?
7. If you could go to any time or place, where and why would you go?
8. If you could give yourself your own name or nickname, what would that name be?
9. What is your dream living place? 
10. If the world where to experience a natural disaster (god forbid) what kind do you think it would be and how do you think you would survive it?

These awards help me get to know my fellow blogger and allows me to show appreciation to those who inspire me. So this is an honor to pass on this award to 10 inspirational bloggers. Congratulations!


Anonymous said...

Hey, I just found this site and I"m glad I did. I love it and am looking forward to following you around! :) Peace out.

Aph Mordly said...

Aww thank you :) I look forward to having you here and thank you so much for the kind words :) It makes me feel awesome when someone tells me that they actually like what I write. :)

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